Your Reactions and Relationships

February 10, 2015

Your Reactions and Relationships

Many times the wrong reaction to a problem will only make matters worse.  It is easy to react in a fleshly way to problems.  Sometimes we need to fight.  At other times the right reaction is to be still and wait.  Sometimes people know what their reaction should be to a problem, but they still react in the wrong way.  Some are too quick to react.  They make decisions without thinking, and then try to defend their decision.

It is disconcerting when we try to help someone with a problem, but they attack us instead of attacking the problem we try to help them with. They may say, “Who are you to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do?”

Many people hurt themselves and their relationships with others because of some character fault.  They may be too proud to recognize that they are at fault.  They blame others for being unloving or impatient with them.  They are like a square peg in a round hole.  They constantly have problems with human relations.  In this article we are going to make mention of some improper ways to react to problems.  We will also give you the proper way to react. If you find yourself in one of these problems, please take heed and seek help in changing the way you react.

Some make the mistake of returning evil for evil.  That is called taking vengeance.  “He made me suffer so I have a right to make him suffer.” This is the law of the jungle.  Tribes fight among themselves.  They exchange blow for blow, but no one ever wins.  It is always better to take the advice of Romans 12:19. “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Let God even the score.  He is much more capable then you are.  We should also make an attempt to make reconciliation.  Matthew 18:15-19 gives the procedure for that.

Another bad reaction to a strained relationship is to clam up.  In other word; refuse to talk.  That sometimes happens in a marriage relationship when there is a disagreement, and one of the two refuses to yield and admit that he or she is in the wrong.  It results in a stalemate and the problem isn’t solved.  The one who refuses to talk is nearly always the one who is in the wrong.  Refusing to talk may leave you twice guilty.  The solution is to humble yourself.  That is extremely hard for some people to do.  I Peter 5:5 says, “Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.”

Some react to those who try to help them by taking it as an indignity against them.  It may be that others are trying to get them to face honestly a character fault they have, but instead of recognizing it, they take it as a criticism.  They may say, “That’s just the way I am and people will have to accept me the way I am.” Instead of honestly facing their problem they may feel sorry for themselves.

If you react that way, you need to realize that those who try to help you are the ones who love you.  They care about you.  They could just avoid you and leave you out of their lives. Instead, they try to help you.  You need to be grateful to those who try to help you overcome your faults.  You need to recognize your fault and take advantage of their willingness to help you get victory over it.  It is for your good.

Most of our character faults are corrected by a humble submission, first of all to God.  James 4:7 says, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”  Then we need to submit ourselves to our elders at it says in I Peter 5:5, that we quoted earlier.  Our problems are often caused by the works of the flesh that are found in Galatians 5:19-21.  “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,   Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,  Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”   Victory over the works of the flesh is found in replacing them with the fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-24.  “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,    Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.    And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.”

Right reactions result in happy relationships.  Don’t let bad reactions hinder you from enjoying good relationships.  Your friends should be among the most valuable things you call yours.  Take good care of them.  Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:  And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

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