Your Duty To Your Spouse In a Care Facility

August 9, 2020

Your Duty To Your Spouse In a Care Facility

By Russell George

Senior citizens sometimes come to a time in their life when their spouse is suffering from physical or mental problems that are so overwhelming that they can no longer care for them. The best solution may be to put him or her in a long-term-care-center. It is a difficult thing to which they both must adjust. This article was written to help you if you find yourself in that situation. My only qualification for writing this article is that I have had to deal with it because my wife has been in a care center for nearly three years.

With all trials, there is a right and wrong way to respond to them. The wrong way is to run from them. A man may say, “My wife can’t do anything for me anymore. It’s depressing to see her the way she is so I just won’t go to see her any more.” If it’s a wife facing the situation with her husband she may say, “There isn’t anything my husband can do for me anymore. Every time I go to see him he says something that embarrasses me. I think I’ll just leave him in the care of those at the care center and not go to see him anymore.”

Now let’s think of some positive ways to respond. If you love your spouse, you won’t abandon him or her. If you are a genuine Christian, you will no doubt remember that on your wedding day you made a public commitment to “love and to hold your spouse till death do us part.” You can’t go back on that promise.

It’s a terrible thing to be abandoned by the one you have loved over the years. It’s not their fault that they are where they are now. They need your love now more than they ever needed it. The least you can do is go and show them compassion and let them know that you care.

Christian couples are fortunate in that, in times like these, they can call upon the Lord for strength to endure. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” I have often told my wife that I see no reason why we can’t replace the word “do” in that verse with the word “endure.” There is another promise we can claim in Philippians 4:19. It says, “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” II Timothy 2:3 tells us to

endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.” My dear wife keeps claiming promises like these and finds strength to endure. Not only does she have dementia. She also has constant pain in various parts of her body. You too can claim these promises to enable you to stand by your spouse in his or her time of need.

We may not know why God calls upon some of us to endure hardness in the later years of our life. It gives us an opportunity to experience the truth of promises of God like Isaiah 41:10. “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” Don’t ever let Satan tempt you to think that God has forsaken you. He is with us through it all. If your mate is suffering, keep on encouraging him or her to claim and keep claiming the promises of God. We suffer with them. Great will be our reward in Heaven if we keep on trusting God until the end.

If you aren’t a child of God you can’t claim these promises of God. It’s still not too late to become a child of God. It’s just a matter of asking God to forgive you of your sin. He can do that because Christ died on the cross and took your penalty. If you become a child of God not only will he open the door to claim these promises of peace and the strength to endure the hard things you are going through, but he will also give you the assurance of a home in Heaven for all eternity. You need to make the decision to trust in Christ for salvation. Then, if your mate still has the mental capacity to understand, you can encourage him or her to make the same decision.

It’s never easy to lose our mates. We have done life together. We have shared the joys of life. We have upheld one another in times of trials. Some lose their mate suddenly. It might be as the result of an accident or a stroke. Others see the health of their mate deteriorate gradually over a period of weeks, months, even years. This article was written especially for those of you who are going through that experience with their mate.

Please, don’t abandon your mate when he or she has to be left in the hands of professional care givers in a care center. They need you now more than ever. Twice I have been a resident at a care center. Fortunately, both times it was just for recuperation after I was discharged from the hospital. When I arrived at the care center, I was so weak that I couldn’t even sit up in bed without help. Physical therapists helped me get my strength back and, after just a few days, I was able to walk out, go home, and care for myself. I can say, “I sat where they sit.”

The days are long and lonely for them. It’s a great consolation for them to know that someone cares enough to come and spend some time with them. It gives them consolation. You just need to put yourself where your mate is, and you will want to visit him or her as often as possible.

Please, for the love of God and the love of your mate, don’t abandon him or her when they have a special need that only you can meet. If we truly love our mate, nothing we do for him or her will be a sacrifice for us.

There is no copy write on this article. I don’t expect to get any remuneration from it. If some thank me because they have been helped by it, that will be sufficient remuneration.

Feel free to make copies of the article and give them to anyone you know that you think might be helped and encouraged by it.


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