Help For Troubled Marriages

April 25, 2014




Help For Troubled Marriages

            Many find themselves struggling in their marriage.  It hasn’t been the “and they lived happily ever after,” experience they anticipated.  Altogether too often couples are too quick to come to the conclusion that there is no hope for their marriage.  They are ready to end it all.  In this article we are going to offer ways to fix it instead of ending it.

Let’s be realistic.  In a brief article like this we can’t touch on all the problems that come up in marriage and offer a solution.  What we plan to do is offer some resources where you can find help.

Fortunate are those who are genuine Christians, living the Christian life the way it was meant to be lived.  They are much less likely to have marriage problems.  If they do, they have ready access to help.  They have at their disposal the power of prayer.  God helps those who go to him in search of a solution.  If they will pray together they are much more likely to find help.

When a couple who are genuine Christians have troubles in their marriage they are extremely fortunate if they are attending a church with a pastor who is willing to take time to counsel them.  Many marriages problems are solved in a pastor’s study.

When there are marriage problems, most often both are at fault, but one may be more guilty than the other.  Often one is willing to seek help, but the other refuses.  In such cases, the one who refuses to seek help is most often the most guilty.  He or she doesn’t want to face their failure in doing their part.

If you don’t have access to pastoral counseling, or if your pastor’s counsel doesn’t help, there are still some good resources.  The following are suggestions of books you can read.  It is highly recommended that couples agree on a time when they can sit down together and read a certain number of pages in a book and then talk about what they have read.  Obviously, some books are for men and some are for women.  If you are going to read a book together it will be best to choose one that has help for both men and women.


“The Joy of Committed Love”

Gary Smalley

Pyranee Books (Zondervan)

ISBN 0-310-44901-4


“Created to Be His helpmeet”

Debi Pearl

ISBN -13: 978-1-892112-60-6

ISBN 10: 1-892112-60-4


“Created to Need a Helpmeet”

A Marriage Guide For Men.  Men need women to make them better, wiser and kinder people

Michael Pearl


Note:  The last two books on the list are available at the web site


“You Can Be The Wife Of a Happy Husband”

Darien B. Cooper

Victor Books

ISBN 0-88207-711-2


“Me Obey Him?”

Elizabeth Rice Handford

Sword of the Lord Publishers

ISBN 0-87398-552-4


“The Act Of Marriage”

Tim LaHaye

Available from

ISBN 13: 9780310212003, 10: 0310212006


“His Needs, Her Needs”

Willard F. Harley

Available from

Making Love Last Forever

Gary Smalley

Word Publishing

ISBN 0-8499-1194


On The Rock or on The Rocks

Eldon W. Stevens

Faith Baptist Church Publications

ISBN 978-1-60208-102-4


The Christian Home

Clarence Sexton

Crown Publications



Note:  Having the ISBN number is a tremendous help in finding a book.  If you take the ISBN number to a book store, they can find it on their computer with that number and tell you if they have it in stock.  If you can go on line, the ISBN number will help you find it.  The following two web pages are a good source for books :


Web pages where you can get help:


Lord willing, this list of resources will be amplified from time to time as more resources are found.

There is hope for troubled marriages.  Don’t throw all the blame on your marriage partner.  Both need to humble themselves and recognize that they haven’t done all they could and should to make theirs a happy marriage.  More often than not, selfishness is what ruins a marriage.  If both will live to make their partner happy, a marriage will be a success.

If you can’t fix your marriage problem, look for help.  Don’t be too proud to admit that you need help.  Pastors can often help.  If you know a couple who have enjoyed a happy marriage for 40 or 50 years, it may be that they could help.  Maybe they haven’t had training in marriage counseling, but they have had experience.  It may be that they have been through the same problems you are now facing and have learned how to work their way through them.  A marriage is too precious to discard.  Fix it, whatever the cost.  It is the author’s prayer that this article will be used of God to save many troubled marriages.  Our e-mail address is



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