Bad Behavior

May 1, 2017

Hillbilly Rhetoric

Bad Behavior

By Russell George

I had a bad day in school on Monday. The teacher gave those in my class an English test. I knew I didn’t do good on the test. After the noon recess the teacher came to my desk and scolded me. She said “Rusty, It looks like you didn’t even try. I know you can do better than that.” I just shut my mouth and didn’t say nuthin. I was embarrassed cuz I knew every one in the room heard what she said.

At the afternoon recess one of my friends came to me and said, “Rusty you shouldn’t let the school mom sass you like that. You need to get even with her. When schools out why don’t you go out and let the air outen all her tires? I double dare ya to do it.” I said, “Well that sounds like a little much. Why don’t I just do it to one of her tires. That way she can go home on the spare.” My friend said “Ok. I won’t tell anybody who did it.”

As soon as school was out I left right away and went out to the far side of her car. I got out my pocket nife and screwed out the do dad in the valve stem. It made a hissen sound. I ran up the road to catch up with the other kids and went home. I was almost sure some one musta seen me do it.

Well I didn’t sleep good that night. I was scared of what was guna happen next mornin when I went to school. I didn’t know what to do. Before it was time to get outa bed I had figured out a plan. When Mom called me to get up I said “I don’t feel good. I don’t wana go to school today.” She said “Why? Where do you hurt? I said “I do no. I just don’t feel good.”

When Dad came in from milken the cows Mon said to him “Rusty says he don’t feel good and don’t want to go to school.” He said, “Well maybe I better take him to the doctor. I need to go into town today anyhow to get some chiken feed.

After him an Mom ate breakfast Mom got me up n dressed. By that time Dad had the car at the door. I was scared again. I thought “Whats the doctor guna say?” After Dad bought the chiken feed he took me to the doctors office. While we were waiten to go in to see the doctor I kinda scotched down in my chair to make it look like I didn’t feel good.

The first thing the doctor said was “Well son, I’m sorry your sick. Where are ya hurten? I said “I do no.” He laid me down on a table and started pushen on my tummy. He asked me again and again “Does it hurt there? Each time I said “No.” Then he set me up an took my temperature and said, “He don’t have a temperature.” Then he took his flashlight and looked in my ears and said, “Nuthen wrong there.” Then he pulled a flat stick out of a drawer and asked me to open my mouth. I said, “Wait a minute. I gota itch a scratch before I can do anything else.” I unbuttened my shirt and itched my belly. Then he stuck that stick in my mouth and asked me to say ah. I said to myself “What kinda language is that? That don’t make no sense.” Again he said “Say ah.” Well I said it. He threw the stick in a trash can and said to Dad, “The only problem I find is that he has an itch.”

He sat down on a stool and asked to Dad, if we had any eggs at our house. Dad said, “Ya, every day our chikens lay a few.” Then he said. “Well heres what I wantcha to do. Break open an egg and seperate the yoke from the white. Then I wantcha to smear that egg white all over his tummy twice a day.”

That’s what Mom did to me when we got home. I couldn’t put my shirt on the rest of the day cuz it woulda stuck to my tummy. It’s a good thing I didn’t have to itch a scratch on my tummy cuz all that egg white woulda stuck under my finger nails.

I did a lota thinkin duren the day while I was layen on my back with my tummy painted with egg white. Along tords evenen I decided I was guna hafta go back to school the next day. I decided I was guna hafta make it right with my teacher. I told Mom that I was feelen better and wanted to go back to school the next day. She sent me to the bath room to take a bath and wash the egg white off my tummy.

The next mornin, after we said the pledge allegiance to the flag, I sat down at my desk. Tears started comin to my eyes and runen down my cheeks. The teacher saw I was crien and came and said “What’s wrong Rusty?” I was too ashamed to look her in her eyes. I kept my head bowed and said “I’m sorry fer what I did to ya on Monday. I shouldn’t have done it. I wantcha to forgive me. Ok?”

The teacher put her hand on my shoulder and said “Rusty I love you. I’ll forgive you if you promise never to do anything like that again.” I said “I promise.” Then she said “Now get out your book and start studying. Let’s just both forget about what happened on Monday.” Then she reached down with both hands and gave me a hug.

I pulled the book out of my desk and opened it but I found it hard to read it cuz I had tears in my eyes. I was sure relieved. I thought, “It’s true that she scolded me in front of everyone in the school, but she also forgave me and hugged me in front of everyone.” That sure changed my opinion of her. She said she loved me. I thought “I love her too, but I do no how I’ll ever be able to tell her that I do.”

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